Cold Sweat Song Fic
by raq-UMALI
Summary: A quickie fic about Mamoru's heartache.


"Cold Sweat"  
by: raq  
written - 10.01.01  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@  
  
  
  
Mamoru had sat comfortably in his seat at a local pub with three of his friends, drinking a bit after a long hard day of work at the hospital. The three talk aimlessly about many things, work, their rounds and woman, especially.   
  
Ignoring their comments about the women who came in and out of the well known establishment. Mamoru's mind only wandered off to one woman ....one that he now knew he loved dearly.... the one woman he had lost.  
  
I REALIZE EXACTLY WHATS BEEN MISSING  
  
A few moments of silent revere and a solemn world all to his own he was nudged again. Looking up Mamoru came face to face with a woman who he didn't even notice till then.  
  
"Konnichiwa my name is Hino Rei" smiling waiting for an invite she waited for his reaction.  
  
"Chiba Mamoru.." he politely returned as he shook her hand.  
  
"Nice to meet you.. I was wondering if you and your friends would like to join us," she pointed to her group of friends that sat watching them with ease.  
  
A brunet sat high and tall, clearly seen was her green stable eyes. Obviously the woman had caught his friends attention.  
  
"Sure.." Nephilite stood. Mamoru still sat looking on as he noticed the girl who sat next to the brunet. Long mid length blond half held up by a red ribbon. The woman was beautiful, Malachite murmured through his lips as he eyed her. He too stood and was eagerly waiting for Mamoru as well. Mamoru watched his friends than turned back to the blond. Looking quite similar, his eyes became misty at the thought of his own blond pixie he had in his grasp once.   
  
"Come on Mamoru-san" his friend Motoki stood. With a long sigh Mamoru stood.  
  
"Kekko desu... I think I'm gonna go home... See you tomorrow" he left without another word. Leaving a girl to wonder and three guys to feel pity.  
  
Mamoru walked his way home, slowly and quietly he thought about many things. His life in general and how he had gotten to the point of longing and despair. His legs took him to many detours and on autopilot he began to trace his past wanderings that he and his past companion only knew.  
  
  
  
Life for Mamoru had been simple enough. He had gone through high school with ease, attended college and achieving his highest goal, now his title Dr. Chiba Mamoru. Achieving such title Mamoru had gone through many ups and downs, frustrations of school work, labs and even interning... He was now a full pledged Dr., holding high a position in Juban's General Hospital. Things were looking well so it seemed.  
  
  
  
Usagi, his bubbly beautiful Usagi... had always been at his every need, understanding each situation as it came along and lightened everything as it dimmed. They had been together since high school and kept their relationship to a bloom as they went on to adult hood.. He had gone to med school and she had understood fully the hardships of his goals. Never once did she complain when he would cancel dates or even fall asleep instead of going out. Each time she always held a smile and an understanding heart.   
  
Flashback ~~~  
  
"I promise Usako... when I'm done with school you and I will have more time" he had kissed her softly on the lips as he left to fulfill his day of labs and classes.  
  
"Ai shiteru Mamo-chan" she murmured in a half sleep tone, Mamoru just turned and smiled at his love, never returning her words.  
  
A year had passed Mamoru graduated with honors. His Usako had been the best, inviting everyone and giving him a party and even more. She had taken him to dinner and even more so as the week in which he know winced at the thought.. was really the last time they have every really spent any quality time together. Together... dinner... movies.... Walks to the park... and even a day pleasuring each other in bed. 'It was the last time' his eyes became glassy.  
  
~~~~~~@  
  
  
  
Mamoru had found himself in the park. 'The park...' he thought as he looked around then to his watch '6:30' and sighed. It was as if reality was mocking him, making it a whole lot harder for him. And a stab in the heart... he stood right in front of the bench that he and Usagi used to sit in and watch the sun set over the lake. Mamoru now sat down as his knees began to grow weak. The bench was a high memory on his and Usagi's relationship. Darien sighed as he stared out towards the lake where the docks were, remembering as he would wait for his girlfriend anticipating for their day together after school..   
  
Flashback ~~~  
  
"Usako.."  
  
"Mamo-chan" her blond hair and blue eyes bouncing happily as she ran full speed for him almost toppling him over the docks.  
  
"Your late!" He watched as her lips played her most playful pout. A pout he could never resist. Just one tiny hint of curl of her lip and she had him in the palm of her hands. "But I don't mind..." he dipped down to kiss her gently on the lips. A sigh silently escaped her lips as they parted.  
  
"Ai shiteru Mamo-chan" Usagi professed, Darien just smiled and winked at her lovingly.  
  
~~~~~~@  
  
Darien came back from the memory... He was leaning on his knees with his elbows staring off to the endless horizon... Leaning back he looked down on the bench. On one of the panels of the wooden bench was a familiar faint carving..  
  
Flashback ~~~  
  
"Usako... what are you doing.. that's vandalizing" he questioned his girlfriends.   
  
"Its so small Mamo-chan No one will see..." smiling happily... "Besides... when your sad and lonely.. and I'm not here... just remember to come to this bench and look for USAGI" pointing at the little bunny drawing she had done. "Every time you look at that Usagi... know that I'm always with you..." Mamoru smiled at her adorningly. Caressing her face... she smiled.  
  
"Ai shiteru Mamo-chan" bring forth the hand that caressed her, lightly kissing his knuckles. Darien didn't say anything but just smiled and dipped to kiss her warmingly.  
The kiss ended and they turned to watch the sun set bring forth the moon.  
  
~~~~~~@   
  
  
  
Darien had been sitting on the bench for sometime.. FINALLY realizing now that he had often heard her say the words that NOW meant the world to him. Meant the whole meaning of her undying heart, freely and loyally she gave him everything and now it was too late to tell her the same.  
  
Still on the bench he watched other couples laugh freely and cuddling within each other's arms. As they watched the sunset, love emniated from their aura, something he could be so jealous of. A slight chilly breeze ruffled his dark ebony hair. The longing of of his aching heart, the numbing sensation was starting to consume his soul.  
  
  
  
Jacket tighter and hands inside his pockets, he made his way home, trudging through the streets that seemed to haunt him with ever step. Envious of the happy starry -eyed couples, holding hand in hand enjoying the winter season. His legs again having brought him in front of a familiar store.. 'Osap' where his Usako had frequented, visiting her friend. One of her best friends, Naru-chan's family owned the long time jewelry shop. A bit crowded, Mamoru had stopped and almost stood behind the couple.  
  
"Baby... look at that... its beautiful..." spoke the woman linked arm and arm with a man.  
  
"Yes.. and the price is as well" the boyfriend or husband, which ever he may be cringed at the sight of the hefty price tag that connected itself on the magnificent diamond ring.  
  
"Oh come on... haven't you heard of Diamonds are a girls best friend?"  
  
Girls best friend, thought Mamoru as he watch the couple leave. His gazed followed them as the turned the corner. Never missing the intimate ways the two acted. Disappearing around the corner, Mamoru returned his gaze to the window. In the middle of velvet wrappings was a beautiful ring, one that he had taken a look at several times... with his Usako.  
  
  
  
Flash back ~~~  
  
"Mamo-chan I just want to say hi to Naru-chan... Is that too much to ask?" the bubble girl of blond pouted.  
  
"I guess we can say hello for a bit... but no more than 10 minutes... we have a movie to catch" he pointed at her. Usagi kissed his lips thanking him. Hand in hand they walked over towards the Osap, the well established jeweler in the area. Passing by the window, something had caught her eyes. Usagi had automatically stopped, staring through the window, Usagi's nose impishly touching the glass.. Mamoru looked on to what had grabbed her attention.  
  
Red rose petals and full bloomed roses decorated the window as well as a bit of white. And in the middle of this black velvet encasing was the most glorious diamond ring he had ever laid his eyes on. Perfectly glittering, it was intricately and accurately cut to match the replica of a rose. Set on white gold and the winking of the light gave its purity and glowing aura, the different shades of rainbow emanated from the clarity.  
  
"Oh... Mamo-chan.. look at that" Usagi had finally exhaled. Mamoru too was stricken, he had never seen anything like it. "Isn't it lovely?" Mamoru had nodded then his throat had formed a knot when his eyes laid on the price tag.  
  
"So is the price" he murmured. Usagi's eyes drifted to the tag as his words hit her, indeed it was hefty. Never would she ask for something so much.  
  
"Aye... I wouldn't need all that flashy stuff anyways..." Usagi turned to meet Mamoru's blue eyes. "All that matters is.. that I have you...I'm a little simpler than that. " Mamoru gave her a raised eye brow to her somewhat poetically sweet remark.  
  
"Really now... so if I gave you a plastic, vending machine one, you wouldn't reject to its simplicity"  
  
"No.... I wouldn't care at all.... Your all that matters Mamo-chan, ring or no ring..... besides... I might have a rock for a ring... but what good will it do if you have to spend more than half of your time working to pay it off?" Usagi wrapped her arms around Mamoru's neck. Her eyes were full of honestly and the simplicity she craved for from him. Dipping his head to capture her lips, it was sweet and innocent, one that thanked her for being just her. "Aishiteru Mamo-chan" she professed after their kiss. He smiled fondly at her before speaking.  
  
"WE should go... or we'll be late" His eyes had missed the somewhat disappointed look, but all the quickly it came as it also went.  
  
~~~~~@  
  
Mamoru had found himself back home in his comfortable and spacious high rise condo. Different coming from the small apartment that he had lived in a few months back. Deeply he would have been satisfied in living there, only if her memories didn't haunt him day and night. Hearing Usagi's laughter and inhaling her faint scent... she was all around... To help his sanity he moved. Later he realized that it didn't matter.. whether he liked it or not, Usagi was with him.  
  
  
  
It was after six o'clock when he was situated in comfortable clothing. Mug in hand, and a book in the other, he tried to concentrate on anything but her. In the beginning it had worked... that is until he turned the page to find a pressed rose on a hard backing, laminated and well preserved, it was a bookmark. Usagi had made this for him in one of her art classes. Turning, he read the inscription carefully. 'Mamo-chan.. use this so you know that I am with you, even in your studies.. Good Luck.... Aishiteru... Usako' from that moment on, word for word, they were nothing. Each sentence... each paragraph didn't even register in his mind. All he could think about was Usagi.  
  
I REMEMBER ALL THE CARDS AND ALL THOSE LITTLE LETTERS YOU WOULD SEND ME  
  
Mamoru turned his head and his eyes traveled up the bookcase. Filled with many other books of all sorts his eyes searched on for a book...a story....anything that would help, relieve him of his painful loss. Nothing... then remembering a book he had purchased a week ago, he quickly made his way to his room. Digging deep in his closet, he found his back pack. Pulling on the straps to pull it down from its top shelf, the bag dropped down, along with other items as well.  
  
A heavy thump landed next to his feet, looking down, his eyes caught on a black canvas looking book. Embossed in irredesant silver, the inscription read, 'Mamo-chan with love'. His heart grew heavy as he picked up the album, letting the back pack slip from his hand... forgetting his original intention. As he picked up the album, a soft item had fallen off from the top racks and landed next to him. His eyes now watered, it was a stuffed bunny.  
  
Drapes closed and light dim, he sat down staring at the album that now lay on top of his coffee table. Next to it was the bunny that mocked him as he stared at it. Hands clasp together, resting under his chin as his elbows once again leaned on his knees for support.  
  
An hour had passed since he had started to stare at the album. Contemplating whether or not he wanted to pass back down memory lane. Not that he didn't think about happy moments anyways.. but he knew with photos to prove... he would be pained, seeing what rare jewel he HAD. Without another thought his hands reached out for the book and opened it to its full color. Pages and pages of when they had first met,  
  
  
  
Junior high photo's, high school, and throughout, photos of them affectionately drawn together. In their everyday lives, innocent and sweet.  
  
  
  
Ordinary day letters to him to sentimental cards during valentines day, birthdays, Christmas or just for the heck of it they were all there.   
  
  
  
A history in which of their life together... one that Usagi had made for him for his birthday. One that he remembered he regarded a few and sat it aside. Now it is what he cherished... the memories... Mamoru closed the book as his hands covered his face, tears falling freely between the crevices of his hands.  
  
  
  
A few hours of pure misery had gotten him nowhere. Still on the couch he stared at the nothingness that had become his world without his Usagi. When he had first lived in his apartment, everything was cold and gray. Bleak colors surrounded his world, until Usagi came along. Adding touches of colors that enhance his newly found personality with her by his side. NOW... in this lonely home, it was back to bleak colors of black, whites, blues and grays. Without his ray of golden sun to brighten his day... without the twinkling stars in her eyes... he was nothing.  
  
The phone had started to ring, and still he sat their motionless, no desire to raise himself. His introduction had set and a beep sounded and on cue a voice he had so longed to hear again...  
  
"Mamoru...." that voice... his heart ached. "I.. I.." stuttering. Finally managing to get up he bolted his way across the room to reach for the phone.  
  
"USAKO..." he said achingly waiting for her response but to his utter and complete unlucky ness a dial tone had replaced his Usagi's voice. "SHIMATA" he cried and slumped to the floor.  
  
Mamoru sat in the corner, holding on to the phone for what seemed like his dear life. Almost his whole evening had been spent, mulling over his stupidity and his failure to act on the love Usagi had always willingly given him.  
  
I WAS WRONG... FOR LETTING YOU GO.. I KNOW I DID YOU WRONG  
  
Reaching his bed, phone in hand, he slotted his way to his bed. On his side table, a picture of his Usako. Picking it up, he had always been weary in putting the picture away. It had been his favorite... her smile, her eyes it was all too perfect. His fingers traced the lines.  
  
  
  
"Usako"  
  
  
  
"Please Usako.... I need you..." Mamoru sobbed as he laid himself down on his bed. Exhaustion finally won over and sleep became of him. Hours later, Mamoru bolted from his dream or nightmare.   
  
I WAS WRONG FOR LETTING YOU GO  
  
A dream....reality...memories...  
  
In which he held on to his Usako... affectionately. Like it was during their innocent days, they enjoyed each others company. They talked, and as a third person Mamoru watched a form of him and Usagi walking hand in hand, mingling   
  
"Mamo-chan" she spoke. Mamoru, not the form of him intermingling with Usagi but the real form came closer. Next to Usagi, he stood quietly, mesmerizing her happy features. "I'm so happy that you finally took time off...I haven't seen you in weeks"  
  
"I know.. gomen Usako. I've just been so overwhelmingly busy at the hospital"  
  
"Aye, Mamo-chan.. you have been putting a lot of hours.. I don't even see you much anymore... I visit you and your so tired... I don't want to disturb you.."  
  
"Usako... the hospital needs all the help it can get, especially since we're under staffed at the moment"  
  
"I know...but do you also have to go there during your days off... I mean.... The hospital ran when you were a mere intern" Usagi fingered her promise ring that he had given her on her 21st birthday. A simple and slim band with a small ruby surrounded by smaller diamonds. The form of Mamoru did not see this as he stared at the lake. But Mamoru the watcher did. 'Usako' he softly spoke. "Mamo-chan... you said it would get better when you graduated..and.... we would..."   
  
The nightmare... reality... memories...  
  
"Usako...." The flat irritation of the form of Mamoru spoke. The watcher heard his tone and realize this is what he sounded like.   
  
"Mamo-chan..." Usagi swallowed "Do you love me?"  
  
"WHAT? Of course I do" he answered... "What makes you think I don't... would I be with you for so long if I didn't"  
  
"No.. I suppose not.. but.. you just never.. said anything.. that's all" she whispered. Mamoru the watcher kneeled next to Usagi.  
  
"Well... I do Usagi...and.." his sentenced stopped mid way as his pager gone off. Mamoru the watcher was angry at his form. 'BAKA' he screamed in his mind. Mamoru reached for his pager and read the words. Usagi's eyes watered, she knew Mamoru would leave.  
  
"Mamo-chan.. please stay... just for today.. Mamo-chan... We basically lived together and I hardly see you" Mamoru the watcher nodded his head 'stay you baka.. stay...stay'  
  
"I cant Usako... but how about we have dinner tonight.... Come over and Ill be home about six o'clock" HE stood as he eyed her, tears wanting to fall but brave as she was, she held on to them.  
  
"Aye.. Mamo-chan Ill come over" she whispered.. Mamoru kissed her softly before leaving her alone on the bench they had called theirs. Mamoru the watched watch his form leave. Without even a side glance he so wished he could strangle the man. As the figure became faint, Mamoru turned to look at Usagi.. who remained quiet. "I'll be there Mamo-chan... but if you don't show.... I'm leaving..." she whispered.  
  
In a mere flash, the setting was different, their stood Usagi in the kitchen of his old apartment cooking dinner for the both of them. Mamoru the watcher stood behind her as she cooked and prepped for dinner. 'oh Usako... your so beautiful' he whispered as he watched her caressed a few locks of hair away from her face. Usagi's face lifted, making eye contact with the clock it was a quarter to six. She hurriedly cleaned up and set the table nicely for the two of them to enjoy.   
  
She sat down on one of the chairs waiting for her love to come walking through the doors. Mamoru the watcher tensed... and realized this is what of happened and remembered where he had gone after his emergency round at the hospital. Wincing at what his memory will now play.  
  
Minutes became hours and it was well after eight o'clock when Serena had given up. Tears welled in her eyes as she stood from the couch she had moved on. With a heavy heart, she made her way to his room with the figure of Mamoru behind.  
  
He had felt her pain when he didn't show, and felt the deep hurt she held in her already heavy heart. Now he watched Usagi from the corner of the room taking a small duffle bag and stuffing items in which she had kept when she stayed the night. 'Noo.. please...Usako..' whispered Mamoru. Usagi's sobs were now defined as she sifted through the closet, bravely she wiped them away. Twenty minutes had passed and Usagi was all packed up.  
  
She neared the end table in which kept a picture of them as a couple. Picking it up, she eyed it lovingly. Mamoru the watcher stood behind her and ached to hold her, to comfort her. "Mamo-chan.... All I ever wanted was to be with you.. and make you happy..." Usagi swallowed "but.. I don't fit in your life." she whispered "goodbye Mamo-chan.." Usagi placed the frame photo on the bed, laying flatly she stared at it for another second before she bent down to place something on top. When she moved away, Mamoru the watchers eyes followed her before looking down to see what she had bent down to lay.  
  
On top of the photo frame was her promise ring... Mamoru quickly ran to the living room to find Usagi near the door.. looking around fondly at what she had considered her second home. With a heavy sigh... she whispered "Aisheteru Mamo-chan...". 'noooo...noo...no....' yelled Mamoru the watched... as he tried to grab Usagi from leaving. But it was useless, he could not touched her, feel her.  
  
The door closed to his old apartment and there his ghostly form sat alone.  
  
  
~~~~~~@  
  
  
  
The ringing of the telephone roused up Mamoru from his dream, nightmare and reality. Quickly he picked up the phone. "Usako????" he questioned....  
  
"Konnichiwa... you have just won a trip to.. ...." Mamoru slammed the phone near his bed.   
  
Well along the morning he laid back down and slumped himself back to the memory. What he had just seen during his sleep was something from his memory.. only.. it was more in depth, giving him a glimpse and the knowing feeling of Usagi's pain.   
  
HE had known what had happened that day he returned from his night with the guys. After his rounds, he and his friends had decided to go out to a bar forgetting about the dinner date he had with Usagi. When he had opened the door to his apartment and turned on the lights.. he was greeted with a table set up, dinner for two. Shaking his head and felt the utter need to apologize he made his way to the room thinking she would be asleep. From the door he saw no figure sleeping and was a bit surprised. The lights turned on with a flick of the switch and there on his bed was their photo. Nearing the photo, he noticed something that surprised him all the more. Usagi's ring, she had 'never would had taken it off... unless.' Reaching for the phone he dialed her number and when her answering machine turned on, he didn't even return the phone back to its cradle and bolted out of his apartment.  
  
Mamoru returned to his apartment a few hours later, tired and exhausted. The search for Usagi was tiresome. He had gone to her apartment and with no answer he waited. Again and again he called and called while he was out, he thought of nothing than berating himself for his forgetfulness. Going to her best friends home, he didn't find her there either. He was sleepless that night.. and he knew he would be until he found her or returned.  
  
  
  
Several times the phone rang... and as usual he answered it hoping that it was his Usako. Work had called him due to his absence and little did he care. His friends had called him several times as well as the day became night. A few other calls that left no message at all.  
  
I WAS A LONELY MAN TILL YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE....  
  
His existence was now in a mere thread. She was the sun as it was to day, and the moon as it was to night. Its been six months since she had walked out of his life and there wasn't a day where he was stricken with grief and regret over how he treated her.  
  
  
  
Everything she had done and anything he had asked she had done. No questions asked, giving all she had and even more. Helping him through his hardships of loosing his parents and even more so his shoulder to lean on when his life became unbearable. She kept him together... a puzzle piece his life was, fragile at a single swipe but with his Usako, she kept him glued and firmed to a perfect ensemble.  
  
  
  
I LEAD YOU ONCE I DID YOUWRONG..  
  
How could of his actions be real... how could he have missed the signs of his failing relationship. How could he not see her pain, her heartache, Mamoru laid there motionless.  
  
  
  
Usagi had been strong, strong enough to go through his mood swings and even his monster side of him. NO matter what situations their had been, she had always been there.. patting his back.... 'She loved me' he thought 'and I didn't do one dam thing to reassure her.."  
  
Mamoru had remembered the time where he and his friends were out for a co-workers bachelor party and he had drank too much. After trying to get him to his apartment, they opted for the closest salvation, Usagi's apartment, which had been just a few blocks away from the nite club they had gone too.  
  
Usagi had been studying for an exam. It was late in the evening when a knock had disturbed her. Openly she had roused once seeing who was at the door, fear took over and she opened the door hurriedly. She gave each men a look and nodded in understanding. Leading everyone to her small quaint apartment, she gave them the hospitality they deserved. The others were too drunk to go home and the other two sober men decided they would stay and help with the intoxicated men. As it was told to him many times and how much his friends envied Usagi's motherly acts, Mamoru was babied like never before.  
  
Usagi had been at his side as he bowed to the porcelain goddess. Patting his back, wiping his lips as he got up for air. Whispering soothing words and being there when he would do another round of spewing. After all that had been discarded, she gave him a bath. Filling the tub with warm soothing water and healing salts that would calm his aching body, and when she was done, she had caressed him with other oils that would relax his sleeping senses. After her whole ritual in making him completely comfortable, she dressed him like a little boy and ushered him to bed. Satisfied that he was sleeping soundly, she cleaned up all that had been left in the bathroom and made sure the others were well in her small living room.   
  
Witnessing what Usagi had done for Mamoru, they all knew from that moment.. that Mamoru had found the right woman. If Usagi had known to take care of a grown mans over consumption, then she knew how to take care of just about anything.  
  
Mamoru had woken up that morning with a slight headache and had been told everything that his Usako had done for him. He was thankful and was pretty proud that his friends envied his situation with his Usako.  
  
Usagi that day had been tired, she had watched Mamoru during his sleep. Little did all the studying did she do help, for she had misread and misunderstood the questions, when the scores came back in, she had just passed by a few points. Little did she care, for as long as her Mamo-chan had been taken cared of she was satisfied, she wouldn't of changed what she had done.  
  
I WAS TOO BLIND TO SEE BUT NOW I KNOW  
  
Mamoru stood from his position from that morning, finally needing some water. His features from the mirror that greeted him in the bathroom was sadden in grief. His eyes bagged and deep circular tints of blue and purple lined them. His skin pale and his chin unshaven, something different from his usual impeccable clean cut shaven features.  
  
He looked at himself in the mirror and again tears welled in his eyes. "Why couldn't I have told her" he asked himself... "WHY couldn't you just have said those words she had longed to hear... couldn't you see that SHE was PERFECT....." Mamoru banged on the mirror as if wanting an answer from the form that mirrored his own. His fist became flat as his hand slid down from the mirror where his forehead too now touched. "I need you Usako... please. ... come back..." he cried as he crumbled to cold tiles of the bathroom.  
  
An hour later, showered and changed but still unshaven he sat on his couch going through the album carefully. Remembering each moment picture by picture of his lovely Usako. Tracing her features and embedding her smile in his mind. "Usako... you are so beautiful" he whispered. Mamoru ending up napping again, this time on his couch, really the toll of his fits of crying was using his every last energy.   
  
It was late in the evening when he had gotten up from his position on the couch, finding his keys, he needed to get out.  
  
I WAS WRONG FOR LETTING YOU GO......  
  
Mamoru pulled the door opened when he stopped shortly. Heart beating at such a fast rate, blood warming... eyes large and firmly secured on the girl in front of him  
  
"U..sa..ko" he whispered achingly as he watched her hand move from the position of knocking on his door. Usagi smiled, though she took note of his gauntly appearance and unshaven features, she was happy to see him.  
  
"Hi...i.." she whispered before stopping with Mamoru's actions.. Mamoru was in shock, the woman he had been mulling over was right in front of him... after six months... she was actually in front of him. Not believing his eyes, he lifted his hand to touch her, afraid that she would disappear or perhaps some god or goddess had it's way in making him all the more suffer.  
  
Usagi watched as he brought his hand to touch her. His large hand, caressing her cheeks moving towards her lips. Her eyes never moving from his eyes as she allowed him to touch her. The was in pain and despair in his features. Blue eyes that used to be determined and hopeful are now miserably dim. Skin pale as she had ever seen, he had lost a lot of weight.  
  
It was as his friends had described when she had ran into them. Usagi and her friends had planned to meet up at a bar the day before. But she had been late, when she had arrived, she had looked at the guys and relieved that they remembered her. They also told her that she had just missed Mamoru. They had given her his number and new address pleading that she visit him or at lease speak to him.  
  
Accepting their pleas and worrying herself, she had tried to call and no answer, she didn't know what to say at his answer machine. A few other times.... She had just hung up. But she needed to see him to make sure he was okay or she would never live her days. Now she stood there needing the reassurance that he was okay.   
  
Realizing that it was Usagi's true for that stood in front of him, he was still speechless. He had been waiting for six months to speak to her and tell her everything he had failed to tell her but now.... With so much to say.. he didn't know where to start. The silence was deafting when finally Usagi spoke.  
  
"I... went to visit you at the... hospital...today but they had said you didn't show for work" whispering. Mamoru still said nothing. "I called and.. no one was answering so I.."  
  
"How did you get my number?" he asked. Though it was rather an inquisitive remark it had hurt Usagi. Usagi had thought that he didn't want her to have it.  
  
"Um..." she looked away, six months and still she felt the pain in her own loss of what she had always called security "um.. I'm sorry.. I just thought..." she hesitated as Mamoru looked at her puzzled by her sudden strained voice and features "well.. I'm glad your okay Ill be going now" she turned and started to walk away. Bravely she took one step at a time.  
  
Mamoru was taken, she came and now she was leaving..... "USAKO..." he yelled for her. The name had caught Usagi and stopped in the middle of the hall way. The padding of foot steps neared, slowly she turned. Meeting her eyes were the un-mistakenly need for her. Her breath caught as she saw his eyes water, she had never seen him cry in many years, since his parents death. "usako... please... stay.. I need to.. get something off of my chest..."  
  
.  
  
"Yes.." spoke Usagi as she watched him. 'Could it be that he is in much pain as I, being away from one another.. Could he still feel the same?' Usagi thought to herself.  
  
"Usako.. I wanted to tell you..."  
  
I WAS WRONG.. SO WRONG FOR LETTING YOU GO   
  
"Yes.." Usagi pleaded it to be a truce and realization on both their parts. Usagi stared at Mamoru waiting patiently as always. He knew even after all that time that Mamoru wouldn't really just go out and say how he felt.  
  
"Usako..." Usagi's heart flourished at the sound of her affectionate name. "You think we can talk in the condo.. I have many things to confess and tell you..."  
  
"About... what?" she whispered, she was a bit apprehensive at the word confession. What was he to tell her, that he had another. He saw the confusing in her eyes. Lifting right hand, he cupped her left cheek.  
  
"I promise... it would be well worth it" he soothed as he surged with new found energy. The confusion in her eyes flicking off to nothing as he smiled.  
  
"Okay.." she whispered as she returned his smile with watery eyes. Taking both of her hands, he softly brought them up to his lips, not taking her eyes away from hers. Each hand received an innocent kiss. With a smile on both of their lips, hand and hand he lead her to his condo.  
  
Mamoru and Usagi entered his condo.... The doors still wide open as they faced each other anticipating what was in store. Friends? Understanding? Or Reconciliation?  
  
It seemed right, when he had reached for her face again, gently cupping them with his large hands. His thumbs idly caressing her cheeks, missing the feel of her ever so soft skin, Closer.. he bent... watching her eyes intensely. "I love you... Usako.. I love you..." his heart and soul spoke from deep within before laying a gentle kiss on her lips that deepened with every moment.   
  
  
  
A subtle sway and suddenly, softly the door to his condo closed.  
  
The End!  
  
The song in this fic is not mine... The song was sang by Ready for The World an 80's group, 'Cold Sweat'.   
  
Luvies  
  
raq 


End file.
